


The Choice

by lilithtorch2



Series: CA2TWS Speculations [10]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: F/M, Gen, Interpretation, Repetition, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-07
Updated: 2014-04-07
Packaged: 2018-01-18 11:47:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1427329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilithtorch2/pseuds/lilithtorch2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes the Winter Soldier would forget it, but he had a choice. He always had a choice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Choice

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Debt](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1417132) by [lilithtorch2](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilithtorch2/pseuds/lilithtorch2). 



> And truth be told, I never was yours.
> 
> \- [Panic! At the Disco "This is Gospel"](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGE381tbQa8)
> 
>  
> 
> Opening based on mv by the same name.

The first time the Winter Soldier tried to break free of the chains that bound him, the scientists kept holding onto him. He still had a lot of fight left in him. With just one arm, he’d managed to land a punch on one of the scientists.

I am not a monster. I am not the Winter Soldier. My name is James Buchanan Barnes. That’s my name!

He almost broke free from their grip. He almost made it out of the door. He couldn't fight off the hands that kept holding him back. He was just one man against many. Then they strapped him to the bed, and no matter what he tried to do to break free, they tied him back with more straps and stabbed him with more needles.

I've got to get out of here.

They covered his face with a mask.

He fell asleep.

When he woke up, he had a metal arm.

And he screamed.

And they pulled him back down.

Under the guidance of Arnim Zola, unmaking a single human being for the very first time still took one month. Even then, it took many more years before Bucky Barnes was no more and in his place was an obedient but wild animal.

Steve’s not even here anymore. I don't think he knows I'm alive. What am I fighting for? He doesn't need me anyway. This is too painful for me. I want to let go and just go to sleep.

Let's go to sleep.

Yes.

Sleep is good.

They broke the man at last.

Your name is the Winter Soldier.

And you are a monster.

James Buchanan Barnes did not wake up for decades until the fateful day he was paired with a determined redhead. By this point, he didn’t care who had owned him; all that mattered was that he followed orders. At first, it was just about the training, but when the redhead dared to kiss him in one such fight, it awakened the sleeping beauty that was trapped inside the hollow shell. His relationship with her stirred something inside him. She transformed from a mission into a woman, and James Buchanan Barnes had a legendary love of women. There was something about her that made him care in a world that was so uncaring. He knew she could do well without him, but the fact that she even chose to stay with him in spite of it…

He had a choice?

He had a choice.

He made a choice to protect her to the end of the line.

And that’s exactly what he did when the scientists told them that the redhead was distracting him from his true purpose and that she needed to be killed. There was nothing else he could do. He knew when he woke up again that he would never remember her, but then it was her life or his.

He had a choice.

He had faith that she could still move on without him and more, he wanted her to live, even if it meant living without him.

He chose her.

“I love you” were her last words to him.

“I know.”

He would never remember again that he had a choice until the fateful day he ran into the blonde who called him “Bucky.”

The blonde told him who he was and gave him a name. The way his name sounded felt so real, so personal that he couldn’t take it. He had to make the blonde his mission.

But in the end, the blonde chose – that word again! – not to fight him, even dropping his shield into the water below.

“I’ll be here with you to the end of the line.”

It took a kiss to wake up a sleeping beauty, but it took a few simple words to make him whole. He remembered; more correctly, he remembered fleeting images of a frail boy who looked just like the blonde lying before him. This man chose to be vulnerable and still chose to care for him even when he didn't want it.

And he watched him fall.

At that moment, he had a choice.

He chose the blonde.


End file.
